So, I had THREE topics on the table for this week’s blog and should have been PUMPED but instead I was SPINNING!
My promise to myself this week was to finish my blog by tonight versus by the normal time I have been getting my blog done every week, which has been pretty much at pumpkin o’clock (right before the deadline). #cinderellarocks
Now, the three topics I had were about, Harmony, Imagination and The 7-Day Mental Diet, all easy to write about (or should have been) as I am really connected with them as I am LOVING and feel so GRATEFUL for the mind blowing connections, emotional awareness, insight and power this MK experience is providing – Which begs the question of WHAT on this BEAUTIFUL EARTH was holding me back for getting it done????
Why couldn’t I concentrate, why was it not coming together, WHY was in a SPIN about what to share and even which topic to pick?? Blah Blah Blah.
So let me paint a picture of what happened instead …instead of writing, I sat and looked at the screen, I paced between my office and the kitchen, I washed the dog, feed the cat, called a friend (who encouraged me to get it done), got a drink, washed my face, did some washing, did the dishes, thought about driving and get donuts from my home town an hour and ½ away – and to sum up I deflected, I procrastinated, I felt deflated and frustrated. My mind was SOO full with clutter-stuff-junk that isn’t serving me and I started to feel overwhelmed and tired.
Then I started comparing…OHHH DANGEROUS!!!! BEEEP BEEEP. DANGER AHEAD!!
The last couple of webinars replayed in my mind with the trainers sharing (here we go – comparison ahead) all the other blogs of the participants in the MKE were showing less stress and confusion as most things were in place and all the hard stuff is done – LIES LIES.. (warning naughty word ahead!) Shite.. Do I have to reset my 7-Day Mental Diet again???
I am SPINNNING- Dizzy! STOP the SPINNING!!!
Oooh WAIT… HOLD-UP… Holy molly – I KNOW what is happening!!!!! BREAK THROUGH AHEAD!!!!
It is those NAUGHTY PEPTIDES that I am addicted too sabotaging me, PLEADING and YELLING for me to stay true to my OLD bad habits, my subconscious mind testing me, checking to see if I take the bait and slip into my old habits and turn my computer off and go to bed because it is all too MUCH. My subconscious mind is insisting ‘I have still got time to write my blog over the next few days’, to ‘leave it for tomorrow or the weekend’. It is SCREAMING ‘you are a last minute girl, you work better under pressure’, ‘you don’t have to do it now, do it at the last minute-so you can agonise over it- remember you enjoy agonising over it’, and “remember you like to stretch out the torture for yourself until it is done’, ‘you work all week and don’t have time to do this stuff until the weekend’, and ‘it has to be perfect- you need to research it more’.
WOW!!! Clearly there is some stories here that are not TRUE and are definitely NOT serving me.
This awareness and realisation has set me free, I feel like I am in the FLOW and I cannot begin to tell you the lightness and creative energy I feel now in this moment, now I have acknowledged what is really beneath the surface. The REAL reason which was truly holding me back and getting me in a SPIN had nothing to do with the TOPICS and EVERYTHING to do with ‘stories’ underneath the surface. And the link to BREAKING my BAD HABITS and becoming aware that my subconscious was sabotaging me with the NEGATIVE clutter. How incredible and POWERFUL is our Mind – AMAZING!!
So next time the SPIN appears, I will be ready to go deeper so I can set myself free from the SPIN or the STRESS or the BLAME and go to the SOURCE. Once we find the SOURCE, we find the way, and we find our way to true FREEDOM!!
Love & Belief